


i keep running (back to you.)

by honeycoffin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, godddd this is so sad why do i do this so often
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 00:31:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17777153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycoffin/pseuds/honeycoffin
Summary: Their fingers connect so perfectly. They are truly each other’s missing puzzle piece. The universe did this, Kei believes in this very moment.Tadashi is his religion, and he will devote to such beautiful worship for the rest of his days.Kei drops their hands and steps back. Tadashi tries to step forward, but a strong hand on his chest, right over his heart, stops him. “I’m here. Right here. Leave the light on for me one day, will you?”





	i keep running (back to you.)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently on a train to Katsucon!! and I was listening to soft indie bops and thought of this horrible mess of Sad. sorry thats like.. literally all im capable of, even on valentines day.
> 
> there will be cute love and happy tears and smooches, i promise it ends with all the sap.
> 
> basically kei goes off to a fancy uni and has to leave tadashi behind while he finishes up and a local college. distance hurts like a bitch.
> 
> pls dont hate me

The car engine hums idly behind them. Kei insists the motor is what’s making his hand shake, pressed against warm metal. They look at each other with an unreadable gaze, a mix of emotions that simply cannot be translated.  
  
He steals his breath, trying his absolute hardest to keep the pain hidden behind those few words left behind.  
  
“Is this it?” His lip quivers before chapped, pink skin is caught between his teeth. Kei doesn’t know what to say, has no idea what to say to make any of this go away. So he nods.  
  
“I’ll miss you.” The words tumble off his tongue in a clumsy heap, falling from his mouth as they softly float through Tadashi’s ears.  
  
It’s quiet, but it means more than all the stars in the sky.  
It makes his heart jump into his throat, choking off any attempt of speech.

 

The tears fall, fat drops run down his cheeks. He can’t stop the flow, his unspeakable sadness manifesting itself in the most pathetic of ways. He flinches when a callused hand smooths over his face, collecting the tears before they hit the ground. His hands linger, determined in his mission to wipe away every single worry from that freckled face.  
  
Tadashi is ugly crying, he knows it but he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to. This has been a long time coming, and all his fears come to a head. His body jerks and folds and shakes as he all but screams. He screams about his love, about his idealistic future together; in a house with a dog and a beautiful garden. A life where they wake up and the first thing they see is each other.  
  
He wants a life where the only promised constant is Kei.

  
  
That changed with that one letter. The university envelope, a crisp card-stock texture with a stupid fucking waxed seal, sitting in Kei’s hands. He held it so dear, more careful and loving than their hands would ever touch.  
  
“I love you. I love you so much, my heart hurts and I think it’ll be broken forever. How do I recover from this, Kei?”  
  
The pleading look in his eyes sends a tsunami of regret down Kei’s throat, settling heavy in his stomach.  
  
“Stay with me anyway. I don’t want to give this up, either. Stop being a moron, you aren’t the only one with a working heart here.”

  
  
Shoulders rising with the sweetest giggles Kei has ever heard, Tadashi wipes his nose with Kei’s shirt sleeve. He ignores that signature protested tongue click. He ignores the pulling away of the sleeve. He holds on so tight, he pulls Kei with it. Directly against his chest, Tadashi inhales sharply. He wants to memorize the way he smells, the way his muscle feels beneath his skin, the thump, thump, thump of his heart.

  
  
Strong, broad hands circle around his waist, rubbing up and down his back in a half-assed attempt at comforting the small, broken angel he holds.

It kills him knowing this is his fault. He did this to the most precious person to ever walk this doomed planet, always right next to him.  
  
It’s unforgivable, even to the most accepting priest within the kindest, warmest confessional.  
  
He thinks of the countless opportunities to link their pinkies together he passed up. He curses himself for all the times he tied his tongue in favor of just telling Tadashi that he is madly in love. With every aspect, every flaw, and every perfection, he fell.  
  
A hiccup against his shirt knocks him back full force into reality. It stings.  
  
His hands smooth up his back, along the freckled nape of a sun-kissed neck, and stopping at their destination. Cupped between two wet, flushed cheeks, Kei stares into Tadashi’s eyes, hoping the feelings he’s digging up come across. He sees brown eyes soften, blinking owlishly in return of such a loving gaze.  
  
Tadashi’s eyes start to water at the feeling of lips pressed lightly against his forehead. The kisses are peppered around his face, kissing along constellations of freckles, on the tip of a pointed, reddened nose.  
  
Kei prays these kisses are like magic, healing all the wounds he inflicts with each passing second he lingers. A metaphysical band-aid that covers all the tender, broken pieces.  
  
His lips press the lightest at the corner of Tadashi’s mouth, exhaling a small breath he wasn’t aware he was holding.  
  
Tadashi brushes their noses together, looking into Kei’s eyes. Amber meets brown, and Kei has to look away. Their foreheads rest together.  
  
Kei breaks the silence. “I.. I can’t. I can’t kiss you, Tadashi.”

  
  
The hurt in the reply cracks his skull. He can’t think straight.  
He’s building his walls back up, even before the final “goodbye.”

  
  
“Why not, Kei? Why not, please, why?”  
  
“If I kiss you, I know I’ll truly never be able to leave. I have something to do, and I need you to trust me on this one.”

  
  
Tadashi whines, but doesn’t push it. His hands fall from their white-knuckled grip on Kei’s shirt.  
  
Their fingers connect so perfectly. They are truly each other’s missing puzzle piece. The universe did this, Kei believes in this very moment.  
  
Tadashi is his religion, and he will devote to such beautiful worship for the rest of his days.  
  
Kei drops their hands and steps back. Tadashi tries to step forward, but a strong hand on his chest, right over his heart, stops him. “I’m here. Right here. Leave the light on for me one day, will you?”

 

One nod, and he feels a snap. They say the red string can’t snap, but what if they are one in 8 billion?

The more unlucky pair of people to ever fall in love.

 

Kei knows he’ll lie awake and regret the emotions he spilled. He wishes he could’ve just left, quietly and painless, and have everything resume as normal. All without him.  
  
But such a selfish request is the most bullshit thought he’s ever had.  
  
That night, as Akiteru hums along with some soft pop song on the radio, Kei turns his phone off and tries to recall how many freckles Tadashi has.  
  



End file.
